Nikole Babb nbabb@cherryroad.com

Sandmann sister speaks out on childhood abuse and stopping the cycle

Traveling 1,207 miles to see her sister behind bars for a chance of healing a family broken by systemic abuse wasn’t in Laura Sandmann’s travel plans this year. Those plans quickly changed when she found out her sister was involved in unspeakable crimes.

The woman behind the bars is facing charges that could sentence her to 15-30 years in prison. That doesn’t mention the lifetime of trauma for all involved. Denise Sandmann Yoder is the woman behind the bars and was allegedly found to be producing child pornography content with Joel Womochil remotely. Womochil resided in Butler County before his arrest.

Denise was indicted to Wichita for the Womochil et al case. Although this story isn’t about the defendant; it’s about Laura.

From her home in Pennsylvania, Laura was shocked to read about her sister’s arrest and charges. The revelation prompted a trip to Kansas and compelled her to tell the story that affected her entire life, her sister and many others. To understand her story is to understand just one of thousands upon thousands of victims worldwide affected by childhood sexual abuse.

Laura endured sexual abuse as a child, with her perpetrator being unknown to this day. While she hasn’t abused other children in adulthood, Laura disclosed the abuse has followed her around her entire life, altering her experience greatly. She says the difference between herself, and Denise is the power of speaking up and facing the trauma directly. Laura has been able to stop the line of abuse with herself by confronting the abuse when no one else in her family would.

Laura’s story begins in her hometown of Buchanan, Michigan. She recalls having a great childhood with loving parents and siblings, taking trips to Disney, excelling in school, and regularly attending the local Jehovah’s Witness Kingdom Hall where her father was a pastor. From the outside, everything seemed like a normal girl’s experience, except for a few dark years where she was routinely sexually abused as a child. From ages two to five, Laura recalls the abuse being routine, happening nearly every night for weeks at a time.

“I don’t remember much, I can’t even remember my abuser,” said Laura. “But I do remember someone telling me, ‘Shh, it’s okay, this will help you sleep.”

At some point, the abuse stopped after her baby sister Denise was moved into her bedroom once she was old enough to share a living space. That’s when Laura can recall the abuse affecting her in a way she wouldn’t understand until she was much older. During these years, Laura didn’t know what sexual abuse was – or that she was a victim. Only later in life did she learn that she went on to abuse other kids her age in a similar fashion that she was.

“I didn’t even know I was abused until I had kids,” said Laura. “I started therapy and all I knew was that I had been hypersexual as a kid.”

The problem that occurred here is that no one was willing to confront the core of the issue, being that Laura was sexually abused. When Laura’s mother had talked to her about the abuse she had done to others, all while being under 10 years old, no questions were asked. She was only told that masturbation is wrong under Jehovah’s Witnesses beliefs and that it was an “unclean” practice resulting in self-abuse. After that conversation, the abuse ceased, but still wasn’t confronted and talked about openly. As she grew older, she realized what had happened to her as a young child and what she had done to others as a child. That’s when she began to ask the hard questions.

“I gradually tried to warn my family, but they didn’t listen,” said Laura.

When she first confronted her family about the abuse, the reaction was less than favorable. Her father was angry with her, telling her that she was pushing herself far away from her own family and Jehovah. While her father would speak privately in sessions with Laura, he refused to bring the rest of the family into the conversation.

When she had her second child, Laura experienced heightened angry emotions, and harsh mood swings with no explanation. While she admits she never hurt her children, she couldn’t understand why she was experiencing such a hard time without reason.

“I couldn’t stop thinking about what I had done to others as a child,” said Laura. “I felt so triggered by breastfeeding and all these other things. So, I started going to therapy more and that’s when she explained to me that what I had told her is evidence that the same abuse had been done to me.”

Although her family wouldn’t listen and eventually disowned her, Laura wouldn’t give up on raising awareness. Over a year she protested her father’s Witness Hall, made YouTube videos to explain her abuse and her leaving of the Jehovah’s Witness religion and much more. Some days of protesting, she would even bring her infant son with her and carry him through crowds as she rallied to speak out on the abuse.

One sign read “The watchtower turns people into child molesters.”

After some time, the issue began to affect her marriage and family ties. Laura made the decision to put down the picket signs and move to Pennsylvania to be closer to her in-laws so her children could have a “normal” family. She greatly credits her protesting and continual voice to taking part in her healing as well as therapy sessions and friends/family support.

After reading Butler County Times Gazette’s article about her sister’s arrest and what was going on, Laura was astonished. Although her family had disowned her and not spoken to her in years aside from filling her in on important matters, she had no idea that Denise had been involved in such crimes. She believes the difference in Denise continuing the abuse cycle and her freedom is the fact that Denise didn’t speak out. Healing and confronting the issue has allowed Laura to find freedom from her demons and trauma, leading her to a more healthy and less damaging lifestyle.

Laura’s next plan of action was to attempt to revisit her family in Michigan to see if they would now, decades later, confront the abuse. Last week she made the drive from Pa. to Michigan to speak with her parents. When she arrived, she said things went well, until they didn’t. Her father exploded with anger again forcing her off the family property, telling her not to come back. Her next destination: El Dorado, Kan. to confront her trauma further and visit her sister in custody.

When she arrived, Denise refused her visit – four days in a row. Before Laura began her travels, Denise agreed to video call with her, but appeared to be in denial. Denise stated that although she is behind bars now, it doesn’t mean that is her fate in the end.

Even though Laura will be leaving without making face-to-face contact with her sister and what seems to be a less than productive meeting with her family up north, she leaves with great courage and a heart full of sorrow and love. Although she speaks on her latest YouTube video, describing her sister’s actions as terrible crimes that shouldn’t allow her around children again, she is adamant that if they can connect, she can help Denise and the rest of her family heal once and for all.

“I want her to know I still love her. I want her to know that if she ever gets the strength to tell her story that it could help people,” said Laura. “If I can help her heal, help her family heal and help the rest of my family heal.”

Instead of shunning her sister for what she’s done, Laura feels that she has a chance to help her, and many others heal.

“I think when people do courageous things, it’s because they don’t have a choice,” said Laura. “There come these moments in your life that feel heavy and if you listen to your heart, you don’t really feel like you have a choice. Those are the moments where you have a chance to do the right thing or hide. There is time for both. I have hidden for 10 years.”

Laura began travelling back to York, Pa. this weekend and currently resides there with her daughter Olivia, son Taylor, and husband of 15 years.