By Tracy Beckerman
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Receptionist: “Dr. Zucker’s office. This is Charlene.”
Me: “Hi, this is Tracy Beckerman...”
Receptionist: “I’m sorry, there’s no one here by that name.”
Me: “No, I’M Tracy Beckerman. You didn’t let me finish.”
Receptionist: “I don’t understand. Why are you calling for yourself?”
Me: (Sigh.) “I’m not. I’m calling for Dr. Zucker.”
Receptionist: “Oh. She’s not here either.”
Me: “When will she be back in the office?
Receptionist: “Who?”
Me: “Dr. Zucker.”
Receptionist: “Oh, she’s not here right now.”
Me: “Yeah, Charlene, I got that.”
Receptionist: “That’s so funny! My name is Charlene, too!”
Me: (Sigh) “My name isn’t Charlene. It’s Tracy. Tracy Beckerman.”
Receptionist: “I’m sorry. There’s no one here by that name.”
Me: “Whatever. Can you just tell me if Dr. Zucker will be back today?”
Receptionist: “I’m sorry, I can’t give you that information.”
Me: “Is it confidential?”
Receptionist: “No. I just don’t know when she’ll be back.”
Me: “Will she be in tomorrow.”
Receptionist: “I don’t know. I’m not here tomorrow.”
Me: “OK, can I leave a message for her?”
Receptionist: “Who?”
Me: “Dr. Zucker.”
Receptionist: “She’s not here right now.”
Me: “I know. Can you just give her a message?”
Receptionist: “Of course.”
Me: “Can you tell her I was calling for the results of my blood work?”
Receptionist: “Sure. When did you have it done?”
Me: “Last week.”
Receptionist. “Got it. And who did the blood test?”
Me: “Dr. Zucker.”
Receptionist: “Did you want to speak with her?”
Me: “Yes.”
Receptionist: “OK, but she’s not here right now.”
Me: “I know.”
Receptionist: “Would you like me to leave her a message?”
Me: “Yes, please.”
Receptionist: “OK. Who did you say is calling?
Me: “Tracy Beckerman.”
Receptionist: “I’m sorry, there’s no one here by that name.”

Follow Tracy on Twitter at @TracyinSuburbia.