After weeks of waiting, it was finally time for us to bring our new puppy home. The hitch was, the puppy was halfway across the country from us. However, being the awesome trip planner that I am, I scheduled a quick flight there and back in the same day. But when I got to the airport I soon realized that the best laid plans do not always go exactly as planned.
Here’s what it actually takes to pick up a Puppy in Peoria:
3:30 a.m. - Alarm goes off. Glare at clock. Smack clock repeatedly. Realize I’m hitting husband by mistake.
4:30 a.m. - Arrive at airport. Go through security. TSA searches bag and pulls out a dozen wee-wee pads. Show TSA picture of puppy and assure them that wee-wee pads are for puppy, not me.
5:45 a.m. - Board plane.
5:55 a.m. - Airline announces that flight is cancelled. Get off plane.
6:10 a.m. - Race around airport trying to find new flight to Peoria. Learn there are no more seats on any flights. Show ticket agent picture of puppy. Get seat on plane to Rochester.
7:00 a.m. - Glance out window and see Niagara Falls. Decide it looks wet.
7:10 a.m. - Show flight attendant picture of puppy. Get free drink.
7:45 a.m. - Arrive in Rochester. Go standby on flight to Chicago. Told there are no more seats to Chicago. Show agent picture of puppy. Get seat on plane to Chicago.
9:00 a.m. - Arrive in Chicago. Miss connecting flight to Peoria. Curse. Cry. Get nothing. Show agent picture of puppy. Get seat on next flight to Peoria.
11:00 a.m. - Airline announces flight to Peoria is cancelled.
11:10 a.m. - Wait on line for hour to get new flight. Told there are no more flights. Show agent picture of puppy. Find out he’s a cat person. No seat.
12:10 p.m. - Go to different airline. Beg for seat. Told there is one flight left but no more seats. Show agent picture of puppy. Get seat in first class.
1:40 p.m. - 5:40 p.m. - Wait in airport. Show lots of people picture of puppy. Make friends. Get a job offer. Get a marriage proposal. Get invited to a ball. Get crowned Queen of Puppy Cuteness. Abdicate throne to get puppy.
5:40 p.m. - Return to airport. Find out flight is delayed. Show more people puppy picture. Invited to sing with a Polka band. Politely decline. Go to Rosetta Stone booth. Show salesperson picture of puppy. Get free lesson in Chinese. Meet couple travelling from China. Have conversation in Mandarin.
8:00 p.m. - Realize I will have to stay over in Peoria. Call Hotel. Told there are no rooms because there is a Firemen’s Convention in town. Very excited about firemen. Very sad about lack of hotel rooms. Text hotel picture of puppy. Given Presidential Suite.
Page 2 of 2 - 9:50 p.m. - Finally arrive in Peoria. Pick up Puppy. Realize live puppy is even cuter than picture of puppy. Plan for return on Airforce One.
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